Preparation
Have you (or another member of your team) ever used words like "should," "shouldn't," "have to," "need to," or "must?" If so, it's unlikely that you went on to perform with freedom and space. Absolute and inflexible thoughts generally lead to performance anxiety and choking. Instead, try applying Dr. Albert Ellis' ABC model, and you'll begin to think differently about your thoughts.
A is the Activating Event (e.g. Playing your final season in high school or college).
B is your belief about the event (e.g. I have to average 20 points per game or I won't play at the next level).
C is the consequences - the emotions and reactions - that arise from your beliefs about the event (e.g. Increased pressure, doubt, frustration, and trying too hard).
To counter this type of thinking, start by asking these questions:
- Is this true? (No. Many players have played at the next level with much lower scoring averages.)
- Is it a written or official rule? (No. A coach can select any player he or she wants).
- Is this helpful? (Of course not. It's causing stress, making you fearful, and sucking the joy out of the game).
The next step is to counter the irrational, pessimistic outlook with a more optimistic perspective. Looking at the situation from a factual, objective viewpoint also
increases the changes of getting what you wanted in the first place. By disputing the negative perspective and coming up with more productive thoughts, you're freeing your mind to accept any outcome, which also leads to better performance. So remember your ABC's, and see how your thinking changes.