Here are the stories behind the songs on our eighth single of 2024: 

Christ Is the Rock (But I Pray They Don't Stone Me)

I adored "Life Is a Rock (But the Radio Rolled Me)" when it was a hit on the radio back in 1974, and I was elated to find that tune on a K-Tel album while in college a decade later. Fast forward another 22 years, and I got excited all over again when I was able to purchase a digital copy on iTunes. 

I always thought spoofing those lyrics — and singing them afterward — would be the ultimate undertaking. However, I didn't seriously entertain the idea until Jimmy texted me on June 20, 2021, saying he'd just heard "Life Is a Rock" playing as house music before an outdoor event he was attending. "I used to have this on 45," he said. "That would be a cool parody but a serious challenge." I agreed wholeheartedly with both his assessments. 

Anyway, on October 11, 2023, I got the idea for the ApologetiX '74 project, and not too long after that, it dawned on me that "Life Is a Rock" was from '74. Since Jimmy had previously suggested we spoof that song and "Bennie and the Jets," also from '74, I figured I'd try to sell him on the idea of that CD by including them. 

I still was intimidated by the wordy and witty "Life Is a Rock," but then I got the title "Christ Is the Rock (But I Pray They Don't Stone Me)," on October 23, and I couldn't just leave a line like that without writing the rest. A while after that, I got the idea for "Preach, Baby," our song about the Stephen's stoning, although it wasn't until later that I realized those two songs would work well together thematically on ApologetiX '74.

Life

This parody's premise calls to mind a quote I've read, attributed to the famous theologian Martin Luther: "I have so much to do that I shall spend the first three hours in prayer." Point taken. 

We read in the Gospels how everyone wanted a piece of Jesus' time. For example, Mark 6:31 says "so many people were coming and going that they did not even have a chance to eat." Still, although He was God in the flesh, Jesus made private prayer time a priority even in the midst of his "busy season," as evidenced by this earlier passage: 

"That evening after sunset the people brought to Jesus all the sick and demon-possessed. The whole town gathered at the door, and Jesus healed many who had various diseases. He also drove out many demons, but he would not let the demons speak because they knew who he was. Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed (Mark 1:32-35)." 

I wrote the first draft of this parody on January 4, 2019 at the instigation of California ApX fan Paul "Doc" Nigh. He'd played bass for us on "Show Us the Way" in 2017 and dreamed of someday returning to Pennsylvania and doing the same on a parody of "Lights." Sadly, he died on February 4, 2024, so we decided to record it in memory of him. It's ironic that the title is "Life." 

Adding further irony, it ended up on the same single as a spoof of another "life" song: "Life Is a Rock (But the Radio Rolled Me)."

The latest ApologetiX single features one of our longest titles, "Christ Is the Rock (But I Pray They Don’t Stone Me),” coupled with one of our shortest, “Life.” That wasn’t a deliberate pairing, but it did get us wondering about where those titles ranked on the list. 

“Christ Is the Rock (But I Pray They Don’t Stone Me)” has 11 words — the second-most of any ApologetiX song. The only one with more is "It’s a Long Way to the Dock (If You Wanna Stop in Rome)” with 13 words. 

Next in line for most words in the title are:

• “Did You Ever Ask Where Cain Got His Wife” (9)
• “Just a Big Galoot/I Ain’t Got No Buddies” (9)
• “Rippin’ Out a Whole Lot of Favorite Parts (8)
• “All That Stuff’s in Their to Remind Me” (8)
• “Once You See Truth You Can’t Unsee it (8)

"It’s a Long Way to the Dock (If You Wanna Stop in Rome)” also has the most letters of all of our titles (40). 

Next in line for most letters in the title are:

• “Such Impressive Loving Smart Close Friends” (37)
• “Living, Loving Faith (Please Just Don’t Worry” (36)
• “Sabbath Day’s Quite Alright for Nice Things” (36)
• “Christ Is the Rock (But I Pray They Don’t Stone Me)” (35)
• “Full of Yourself” (Distinguished Young Man)” (35)

Meanwhile, “Life” is one of about 90 one-word titles on our list, the longest of which have 13 letters each, “Parrseverance” and “Christmasnite.” 

“Life” has four letters (duh). Our other titles with the same length are “Amos,” “Ezra,” “Hell,” “Lock,” “Magi,” “Nain,” “YHWH,” and “A Lie.” 

Those all fall behind “L.S.F.” And what about "969"? It has three numbers but zero letters and zero words. However, it represents four words ... or five words if you take apart the compound word sixty-nine. That's an interesting conundrum. 

Anyway, we were curious about titles, and that’s the long and short of it.

We began our latest trip through the Bible on Wednesday, April 3.

Here's our Bible-reading plan for the next two weeks for those of you reading along with us:

Sat., April 20 - Exodus 1-3
Sun., April 21 - Exodus 4-6
Mon., April 22 - Exodus 7-9
Tue., April 23 - Exodus 10-12
Wed, April 24 - Exodus 13-15
Thu., April 25 - Exodus 16-18
Fri., April 26 - Exodus 19-21
Sat., April 27 - Exodus 22-24
Sun., April 28 - Exodus 25-27
Mon., April 29 - Exodus 28-30
Tue., April 30 - Exodus 31-33
Wed, May 1 - Exodus 34-36
Thu., May 2 - Exodus 37-40
Fri., May 3 - Leviticus 1-3

Note: If you don't have a Bible handy, you can look up these passages for free on Bible Gateway. They have about 60 different English translations/versions there to choose from, plus translations in many other languages, many of which also have multiple translations/versions.

We're giving our complete library on download to everyone who donates $100 this week.

That's 1670 tracks, including various versions (studio, live, rarity, album, single, EP, revised, remastered, etc.), plus side projects ... even our latest single, "Christ is the Rock (But I Pray They Don't Stone Me" and "Life," plus our new CD, Unchained Medley.

• Standard CDs 1993-2021 (919 tracks)
• Remastered Classics CDs (219 tracks)
• Singles, EPs, Rarities, Side Projects (532 tracks)

After we receive your donation, we'll send you an email with links for all the downloads.

Here are the latest entries in the "albums that influenced me" series I started writing in May 2020.

Note: Just because an album appears on this list doesn't mean I give it a blanket endorsement. Many of the secular albums on this list are mainly there because they wound up being spoofed by ApologetiX.

1437. Soul Hits of the '60s - Various Artists
Released by Universal Special Products, Soul Hits of the '60s was a collection of 10 songs that did well on both the pop and R&B charts ... except for the one song with the word "soul" actually in its title — "(You're My) Soul And Inspiration" by The Righteous Brothers, which hit #1 on the Hot 100 but never made the R&B chart. Five of the tracks hit the Top 10 on both charts: "Sunny" by Bobby Hebb (#2 pop, #3 R&B), "Handy Man" by Jimmy Jones (#2 pop, #3 R&B), "Only The Strong Survive" by Jerry Butler (#4 pop, #1 R&B), "A Rockin' Good Way (To Mess Around And Fall In Love)" by Dinah Washington & Brook Benton (#7 pop, #1 R&B), and "It's A Man's Man's Man's World" by James Brown (#8 pop, #1 R&B). Three others made the Top 10 on one of the two charts: "Harbor Lights" by The Platters (#8 pop, #15 R&B), "My True Confession" by Brook Benton (#22 pop, #7 R&B), and "Ta Ta" by Clyde McPhatter (#23 pop, #7 R&B). The remaining track was "Hey Leroy, Your Mama's Callin' You" by The Jimmy Castor Bunch (#31 pop, #16 R&B). You may have noticed that Brook Benton appears twice on this collection — “A Rockin’ Good Way” is the opener, and “My True Confession” is the closer. However, that’s just scratching the surface of his prolific chart career. Benton had seven #1 R&B singles and 24 Top 40 pop hits, eight of which reached the Top 10. Fittingly, most of the tracks on Soul Hits of the ‘60s were performed by soul-o artists. 

1438. Island 40, Vol. 1: 1959-1964: Ska's the Limit - Various Artists
Founded in Jamaica by Chris Blackwell, Graeme Goodall, and Leslie Kong, Island Records is familiar to American music fans of my generation because of albums and singles by Bob Marley and The Wailers, U2, Robert Palmer, Steve Winwood and others. In England, they were also associated with such notable acts as Roxy Music, King Crimson, Traffic, Free, Cat Stevens, Sparks, and Fairport Convention. Here in the States, most of us don't immediately recognize those folks as Island artists, because their releases were licensed to and distributed by other record companies such as A&M, Capitol, and Atlantic. Island 40 was a five-part chronological series of LPs celebrating the label's 40th anniversary. I bought the first volume, which mainly comprised Jamaican blues and ska, for one specific song that was difficult to find on other '60s compilations, "My Boy Lollipop" by Millie Small (#2). Released in 1964, it was the last of 20 songs on Island 40, Vol. 1: 1959-1964: Ska's the Limit and was the first big U.K. and U.S. hit for the label. My daughter Heather loved it, too. Other songs I particularly enjoyed are "Jumpin' Beans" by The Beans, "Independent Jamaica" by Lord Creator, "King of Kings" by Jimmy Cliff, "Six and Seven Books" by The Maytals, "Penny Reel" by Eric Morris, "Come Down" by Lord Tanamo, and "Solomon Grundie" by Eric Morris. I also liked "Judge Not" by Bob Marley (his first recorded single), "Boogie in My Bones" by Laurel Aitken, "Please Let Me Go" by Owen Gray, and "Carry, Go, Bring, Come" by Justin Hinds & The Dominoes. However, if you're looking for the manic-paced ska of the '90s (hey, I dig that, too), you're shopping in the wrong place.  
 
1439. Dick Bartley Presents: Classic Oldies 1965-1969 - Various Artists
This was one of the best single-disc, multiple-artist oldies LPs I've ever come across, because it featured a lot of really great songs, many of which I'd seldom — or never — seen on other collections. Dick Bartley got his start as a disc jockey in 1969 at a radio station in Lynchburg VA and eventually found greater fame hosting nationally broadcast oldies shows for four decades, including Dick Bartley's Classic Hits, Rock and Roll's Greatest Hits, and Yesterday Live. He retired at the end of 2021, but I bought this CD in 2005. Dick Bartley Presents: Classic Oldies 1965-1969 contained 18 hits, the biggest of which were "(You're My) Soul and Inspiration" by The Righteous Brothers (#1), "Fire" by The Crazy World of Arthur Brown (#2), "Keep on Dancing" by The Gentrys (#4), "Bend Me, Shape Me" by American Breed (#5), and "A Whiter Shade of Pale" by Procol Harum (#5), which ApologetiX spoofed in 2023. I've always loved "Bend Me, Shape Me," and thought "Fire" was pretty cool when I was in college. The next highest-charting selection on this compilation was "You've Got Your Troubles" by The Fortunes (#7), which was on another CD I'd recently purchased, but the rest of the album was full of sweet surprises. First, a couple of old favorites of mine, "Love Is All Around" by The Troggs (#7) and "I Wonder What She's Doing Tonight" by Tommy Boyce & Bobby Hart (#8), then three other terrific Top 10 singles: "The Clapping Song (Clap Pat Clap Slap)" by Shirley Ellis (#8), "Israelites" by Desmond Dekker & The Aces (#9 U.S., #1 U.K.), and "You've Got to Hide Your Love Away" by The Silkie (#10). There was also The Walker Brothers' classic "The Sun Ain't Gonna Shine (Anymore)" (#13 U.S., #1 U.K.) and Janis Ian's daring debut single, "Society's Child (Baby, I've Been Thinking)" (#14). But the quality didn't let up when I got to the lower-charting hits like "Mendocino" by Sir Douglas Quintet (#27); "You Wouldn't Listen" by Ides of March (#42), a near-miss four years before they hit it big with "Vehicle"; and "Peter Rabbit" by Dee Jay and the Runaways (#45), which was sort of like The Dave Clark Five meets "Wooly Bully" with a bunny. Neat stuff. However, even with all those awesome tunes, the thing I cherish most about Dick Bartley Presents: Classic Oldies 1965-1969 is that it introduced me to the Chicago-based soft-rock band New Colony Six by including both of their Top 40 hits: "Things I'd Like to Say" (#16) and "I Will Always Think About You" (#22). I don't know what it is about those two songs, but I love 'em, especially "Things I'd Like to Say," which gets me choked up every time I listen to it.  

1440. Billboard Top Pop Hits: 1969 - Various Artists
As a lead singer and lyricist, I often jokingly remind my keyboardist/composer friends that a piece of music isn't a song unless you can sing it (i.e. it has lyrics). Be that as it may, you might be surprised to know that some of my favorite hits from the '50s-'80s were actually wordless wonders. Those types of records used to hit the Top 10 fairly frequently. Billboard Top Pop Hits: 1969 featured three excellent instrumentals: "Love Theme from Romeo & Juliet" by Henry Mancini (#1), "Soulful Strut" by Young-Holt Unlimited (#3), and "Hawaii Five-O" by The Ventures (#4). None of those particular tunes were commonplace on other collections, and the same could be said for "In the Year 2525 (Exordium & Terminus)" by Zager & Evans (#1), "Wedding Bell Blues" by The 5th Dimension (#1), and "Jean" by Oliver (#2). The rest of the record consisted of "Spinning Wheel" by Blood, Sweat & Tears (#2), "Worst That Could Happen" by Brooklyn Bridge (#3), "Wichita Lineman" by Glen Campbell (#3), and "Sweet Cherry Wine" by Tommy James & The Shondells (#7).  ApologetiX spoofed "Spinning Wheel" in 2016. This album is not to be confused with Billboard Top Rock 'n' Roll Hits: 1969, another Rhino Records release with a similar title but an entirely different lineup "In the Year 2525" topped the pop chart for six weeks, but Zager & Evans never had another Hot 100 hit. The closest they came was the morbid "Mr. Turnkey," which bubbled under at #106 and somehow managed to make "In the Year 2525" seem upbeat by comparison. My old college buddy Tom and I were in a record store once where that single was mislabeled as "Mr. Turkey," which still makes me giggle ... and almost gobble.  

1441. Hits: The Road - ApologetiX
ApologetiX was very busy in 2005. In March, we released our 11th CD, Apol-acoustiX (as mentioned in an earlier entry), but we were just getting started. By the end of the year, we had played 103 concerts in 32 different states — high-water marks for us at the time, although we'd later surpass that number of concerts and states in a single year. We also completed our quest to play in all 50 states. The final frontier was  Alaska, where we played three shows in late December. Meanwhile, almost nine months earlier, we had filmed concerts in Greenfield IN and Springfield MO for our first full-length DVD, Samson Comes Alive. Although the DVD itself wouldn't be ready and released until January 2006, we took the audio recordings from 17 of the 21 songs and used them for our first live LP, Hits: The Road, which came out in December 2005. We left the other four songs off, because other versions of them had just appeared on our New and Used Hits compilation the previous year. In their place, we added three previously unreleased parodies that were recorded live especially for Hits: The Road in Moravia NY, Newark DE, and Green Bay WI. 

1442. Entertainment Weekly: The Greatest Hits 1989 - Various Artists
I used to be a regular subscriber to Entertainment Weekly in the early 2000s. Been there, done that, got the CD. You've heard the expression (and the song) "It's five o' clock somewhere"? Well, this compilation could be called "It's Top Five Somewhere." Everything on Entertainment Weekly: The Greatest Hits 1989 hit the top five on at least one significant chart. Five of the 12 tracks hit #1 on the Hot 100: "She Drives Me Crazy" by Fine Young Cannibals, "Rock On" by Michael Damian, "The Living Years" by Mike + The Mechanics, "Toy Soldiers" by Martika, and "Right Here Waiting" by Richard Marx. Two additional songs topped other charts: "Back to Life (However Do You Want Me)" (#1 R&B, #4 pop) and "So Alive" by Love and Rockets (#1 alternative, #3 pop). The remaining five: "Heaven" by Warrant (#2 pop), "Bust a Move" by Young MC (#2 rap, #7 pop), "Funky Cold Medina" by Tone Loc (#3 pop), "Angel Eyes" by The Jeff Healey Band (#5 pop), and "Kiss" by The Art of Noise Featuring Tom Jones (#5 U.K., #31 U.S. pop, #14 U.S. alternative). ApologetiX spoofed "Right Here Waiting" in 2016. We released a parody of "Rock On" that year, too, but imitated the original David Essex version, which also hit the top five (#5 Billboard, #1 Cash Box, #3 U.K.).  

1443. Cosmopolitan Vol. 4 - Various Artists
Yes, you read the title right; it seems like everybody was getting into the act of putting out compilations. If Entertainment Weekly could do it, why not Cosmopolitan? In the fourth volume of the series, the magazine went from Helen Gurley Brown to Bobby Brown. I found a used copy of this CD at a record store in the mid-2000s. It featured 10 selections from 1981-91. Five of the tracks topped four different charts: "You Belong to the City" by Glenn Frey (#1 mainstream rock, #1 pop), "Harden My Heart" by Quarterflash (#1 mainstream rock, #3 pop), "Every Little Step" by Bobby Brown (#1 R&B, #3 pop), "New Attitude" by Patti LaBelle (#1 dance, #3 R&B, #17 pop), and "Everything Changes" by Kathy Troccoli (#1 Christian hit radio, #6  adult contemporary, #14 pop). As for the rest of Cosmopolitan Vol. 4, there was "The Loco-Motion" by Kylie Minogue (#3 pop, #2 U.K.), "Circle in the Sand" by Belinda Carlisle (#5 AC, #7 pop), "I Can Dream About You" by Dan Hartman (#6 pop), "The Future's So Bright, I Gotta Wear Shades" by Timbuk 3 (#14 mainstream rock, #19 pop), and "Too Cool to Fall in Love" by Jill Sobule (#17 AC). I used to sing "The Future's So Bright" in my last secular band in 1987. ApologetiX spoofed "Harden My Heart" in 2016 and "I Can Dream About You" in 2020. We also did a parody of "The Loco-Motion" in 2023, but it was Grand Funk's version. 

If you'd like to donate to the ministry of ApologetiX, there are a couple ways you can do it. 

If you prefer to mail a check or money order, please make it out to "ApologetiX" and send it to: 

ApologetiX
208 Charlemma Drive
Pittsburgh PA 15214-1414

Although the donations are not tax-deductible, they will be received very gratefully and used immediately. Thank you!