Coaching is 90% attitude and 10% technique. I don't have a source for this one, but I do know that the relational approach to coaching is becoming more and more widespread. Whether it's Pep Guardiola and Jurgen Klopp in the Premier League, Steve Kerr and Monty Williams in the NBA, or Bruce Bochy and Kevin Cash in MLB, these coaches place a priority on developing the person first and the player second. They don't neglect the X's and O's, but they emphasize knowing their players first.

While the official start of spring is still three weeks away, spring sports are well underway. Each year, I ask the players on my golf team to set personal, academic, team, and individual goals, emphasizing process and performance goals over outcome goals. I met with the parents of my golfers this week, and I asked them two fundamental questions:

I then encouraged the parents to reflect on these questions before having a conversation with their sons about their goals for golf. Parents (and coaches, for that matter) should never assume that their athlete's goals are the same as theirs. When the goals of parents and athletes are understood and aligned, the likelihood of achieving those goals is significantly enhanced. Trouble arises when there is misalignment, so I encourage frank conversations in this area. Ultimately, we need to remember that relationships are more important than outcomes.

The average race car driver follows a typical progression. As a youngster, they start racing go-karts. From there, they advance through a series of bigger, faster, (and more expensive) race cars. Daytona 500 winner William Byron, however, is far from average. Aside from being a rising star on the NASCAR Cup series, his journey to the top has taken a unique path.

Byron does not come from a racing family. Knowing that getting into racing was cost-prohibitive for his family, Byron embraced sim racing. Using the iRacing platform, Byron would spend hours each day behind the wheel of a simulator (not to be confused with a video game). His parents would tell him, "No racing until your homework is done." Byron demonstrated a talent for racing, but it wasn't until he was a teenager that he actually got behind the wheel of a race car. Between succeeding in simulated races and composing a five-page proposal, he convinced his parents to buy a Legends race car. He quickly won on the real track, and moved into NASCAR's top series by the time he was 19.

The advantages of learning to race in this way are significant. There is no risk or danger of injury, so fear is eliminated. The cost is negligible compared to owning a car. Racers can experience every track on the circuit without leaving home. Because you can race in any weather and at any time, the repetitions required for mastery are more rapidly acquired. A focus on learning, rather than winning, accelerates the learning process. In short, it's an outstanding system for talent development. For up and coming racers who hope to follow his path, Byron reminds them to have fun and enjoy the process of learning. Given the pace of technological development, we are likely to see more drivers come from this background.

When it comes to setting goals, thinking backwards is an essential skill. Most people choose to focus on their desired outcome. There's nothing inherently wrong with that, but it often ignores two critical questions - Why? and How?  Why do you want to accomplish this goal? How are you going to accomplish this goal? 

Rather than answer the Why? question once, I encourage people to answer it seven times. Write down the answer the first time, and then immediately channel your inner five-year old and ask Why? again, and then again, and so on. This will help you drill down to your real purpose. 

The same can be done with the How? question. For example, consider the following common goal - winning a championship.

You get the idea. Asking How? enough times eventually pushes you into identifying the processes and performances that are required to climb the success staircase. As Antoine de Saint-Exupery once said, "A goal without a plan is just a wish."

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