Clues for Next Single, New USBs in Stock |
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J. Jackson, lead singer and lyricist for ApologetiX here.
I apologize that this newsletter took so long. I’m writing it right before bedtime (actually past bedtime) at about 1 a.m. on Sunday, even though you won’t be receiving it till sometime later on Sunday.
My wife, Lisa, and I were at a Christmas party on Saturday at ApX bassist Keith Haynie’s house. He and his wife, Krista, have been hosting one annually for at least 25 years now.
Other ApX members in attendance (among other guests) included guitarists Tom Tincha and his wife, Deborah, and Tom Milnes and his wife, Barb. Also on hand was former ApX sound-and-light man Micah Clausen.
The rest of the ApX guys — drummer Jimmy “Vegas” Tanner and his wife, Eve; keyboardist Rich Mannion and his wife, Nettie; and guitarist Wayne Bartley — were all invited but unable to make it.
I think Jimmy had family activities going on, Rich had a gig with Yachtness Monster, and Wayne had a long day at work (he’s a guitar teacher at a local music store) and has been recovering from pneumonia. Please keep him in your prayers.
Meanwhile, our mixer, David Michael, had sent us all a mix of the second song on our upcoming single, so I had to listen to that a bunch of times after I got home, in order to suggest edits.
If all that sounds cool or glamorous, you should know that I listened to the mix on headphones while drying dishes.
O.K., I gotta get to bed, so I don’t fall asleep in church tomorrow! I hope you’ll enjoy the rest of the articles in this newsletter, which were written earlier Saturday, when I was still bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. |
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Clues for 2024 Single #24 |
We hope to release our 24th single of 2024 by the end of this weekend, Lord willing.
Here are your clues. Want to really impress us? See if you can spot all of the references in both entries. We counted a total of 22.
SONG #1
Lately, as evil seems to be on the rise, some think the world will end soon. Do yourself a favor: Have a talk with God and keep reading His Word. He’s in your corner and may have something to say to you. Please don’t go off the deep end. It ain’t no use getting uptight. Be vigilant, but be cool, be calm and don’t you worry about a thing.
SONG #2
Almost everybody’s born to die, even Jesus. But on the third day, He rose, and there was a new world rising with Him. He sent His Apostles on a mission all over the world to preach the Gospel to every living thing. But it was a jungle out there, with danger ahead. John was the last one left. What was his state of mind in the twilight of his life?
Once the new single is released, we'll announce it in our news bulletin, on our website, and on our Facebook page. |
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New USBs in Stock, Include Upcoming CD |
Our new ApologetiX USB thumb drives are now in stock ... and they even include our upcoming 76th CD, X-Tract, which won’t be released till later this month.
The USBs contain the digital versions of all of our CDs, plus any singles, EPs, or rarities that aren’t on CD yet.
Emblazoned with the band's logo, they have a storage capacity of 16 GB, and they’re write-enabled, so you can add more music to them if and when you get future ApX downloads.
They’re available for a donation of $150 or more. If you've donated for our complete library before, they're available for a donation of $50 or more. |
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ApologetiX Christmas Playlist |
ApologetiX Christmas Playlist
Now that the holiday season is upon us, ApologetiX has 36 parodies you can use for your Christmas playlist.
You can arrange your playlist in any order you like. Here's what they are and where you can find them, from the newest to the oldest:
1. Magi - Magic - The Cars 2. Little Jesus (Simeon's Song) - Little Jeannie - Elton John
3. Elizabeth's Song - In Your Room - The Bangles 4. Eve of Instruction - Eve of Destruction - Barry McGuire Note: These two songs were later included on our Eclectic CD in 2023.
5. Humble Heart - Hungry Heart - Bruce Springsteen
6. The Wonder of Christmas - I Wish - Stevie Wonder 7. Once We're Over the Line - One Toke Over the Line - Brewer & Shipley Note: These two songs were later included on our Double Take CD in 2019.
8. Marry Mary - Mary Mary - The Monkees Note: This song was later included on our Double Take CD in 2019.
9. Grandma Got Won Over by a Stranger - Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer - Elmo & Patsy 10. God's Child in the City - Hot Child in the City - Nick Gilder Note: These two songs were later included on our Very Vicarious CD in 2017.
11. Grinch Girl (Rich Girl by Hall & Oates) 12. Hanukkah (Hot Stuff by Donna Summer)
13. Messiah - Desire - U2 14. Virgin - Urgent - Foreigner 15. Cut-Rate Hotel - Heartbreak Hotel - Elvis Presley 16. Child King - Wild Thing - Tone Lōc 17. Mary's Got a Son - Janie's Got a Gun - Aerosmith 18. One Night in Bethlehem - One Night in Bangkok - Murray Head 19. Christ in the Stable - Cat's in the Cradle - Harry Chapin 20. Excuse Me, Pal, It's Christmastime - Purple Haze - Jimi Hendrix 21. Nice Iced Pavement - Ice Ice Baby - Vanilla Ice 22. Wise Men Still - Can't Help Falling in Love With You - Elvis Presley 23. We Didn't Start Messiah - We Didn't Start the Fire - Billy Joel
24. Micah No. 5 - Mambo No. 5 - Lou Bega 25. December 5 or 6 B.C. - December 1963 - The Four Seasons 26. Hotel Can't Afford Ya - Hotel California - The Eagles 27. Manger - Angel - Shaggy with Rayvon 28. Bethlehem's Boy - My Best Friend's Girl - The Cars 29. Tip From an Angel - Lips of an Angel - Hinder 30. Christmasnite - Kryptonite - Three Doors Down 31. Try Micah - Drive My Car - The Beatles 32. Don't Stop Till Egypt - Don't Stop Believin' - Journey 33. JC's Mom - Stacy's Mom - Fountains of Wayne 34. Lived the Day You Died - Love the Way You Lie - Eminem 35. Flurry - Blurry - Puddle of Mudd 36. Santa Claus - Panama - Van Halen (Note: This is the new 2013 version) |
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Bible-Reading for the Next Two Weeks |
We began our latest trip through the Bible on Wednesday, April 3.
Here's our Bible-reading plan for the next two weeks for those of you reading along with us:
Sat., Dec. 7 - Daniel 4-6 Sun., Dec. 8 - Daniel 7-9 Mon., Dec. 9 - Daniel 10-12 Tue., Dec. 10 - Hosea 1-3 Wed., Dec. 11 - Hosea 4-6 Thu., Dec. 12 - Hosea 7-9 Fri., Dec. 13 - Hosea 10-12 Sat., Dec. 14 - Hosea 13-14 Sun., Dec. 15 - Joel 1-3 Mon., Dec. 16 - Amos 1-3 Tue., Dec. 17 - Amos 4-6 Wed., Dec. 18 - Amos 7-9, Obadiah 1 Thu., Dec. 19 - Jonah 1-4 Fri., Dec. 20 - Micah 1-3 Note: If you don't have a Bible handy, you can look up these passages for free on Bible Gateway. They have about 60 different English translations/versions there to choose from, plus translations in many other languages, many of which also have multiple translations/versions. |
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Get Our Complete Library for $100 |
We recently revamped the downloadable version of our complete library. Now it comes in a PDF with pictures of every album and single for easy reference. You just click on the ones you need to download them instantly.
We're giving our complete library on download to everyone who donates $100 this week.
That's 1722 tracks, including various versions (studio, live, rarity, album, single, EP, revised, remastered, etc.), plus side projects ... even our most-recent single and our latest CD. |
Standard CDs 1993–2024 (943 tracks) Remastered Classics CDs (219 tracks) Singles, EPs, Rarities, Side Projects (560 tracks)
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Influential Albums #1668–1674 |
J. Jackson, lead singer and lyricist for ApologetiX here again.
Here are the latest entries in the "albums that influenced me" series I started writing in May 2020.
Note: Just because an album appears on this list doesn't mean I give it a blanket endorsement. Many of the secular albums on this list are mainly there because they wound up being spoofed by ApologetiX.
1668. Double Take - ApologetiX Although ApologetiX slowed down to only three albums in 2018, we were back to our usual annual output of four by 2019, thanks in large part to the availability and versatility of Rich Mannion, who played keyboards on 11 of the 12 tracks on Double Take. Released in early April 2019, it was our first of the year and our 54th LP overall. A quick look at the first two tracks, "Take the Wrong Way Home" and "Taken Up," will tell you one reason it’s called Double Take, and the cover art obviously spoofs Doublemint Gum. Like the arrow heading in opposite directions on the logo, so are those who “Take the Wrong Way Home” and those “Taken Up.” But chew on this: In track #9, "Once We're Over the Line," Joseph takes Jesus and Mary down to Egypt and then takes them back to Nazareth. In track #11, "A Loan for You," the king takes away the massive debt of one of his servants, but takes it back when that servant is unwilling to forgive his own debtor. That’s a double shot of double takes. In ApologetiX, we’ve been doing double takes since 1992 — taking secular songs and taking scriptural passages, then melding them together in an effort to make unsuspecting listeners do a double take. A surprised audience is an attentive audience. Of course, the best double take a person can make is when they take responsibility for their sins and take Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior. The second-best double take is when they take time to pray and read the Bible and take the Gospel to others. Let’s do it! Artists spoofed on this one included Autograph, Brewer & Shipley, The Cars, The J. Geils Band, Genesis, Live, Lynyrd Skynyrd, The Monkees, Sugarloaf, Supertramp, Stevie Wonder, and The Zombies. 1669. The Ragpicker's Dream - Mark Knopfler Mark Knopfler's third solo LP starts out with one of his best songs, "Why Aye Man." ApX guitarist Tom Milnes used to hear the song on the radio and honestly thought it was called "One-Eyed Mike." I crack up every time I think of that. The title of the song is actually a common Geordie (a British dialect from the Tyneside area of Northeast England) expression meaning, "Yes, of course!" The lyrics are written from the perspective of an English worker from Geordieland who has to go to Germany — along with others from England, Ireland, and Scotland — to find work. Released on September 30, 2002, The Ragpicker's Dream reached #38 on the Billboard 200 and #7 on the U.K. albums chart. As usual with Knopfler, there's not a bad track in the bunch. In addition to "Why Aye Man," my favorites were "You Don't Know You're Born" and "Coyote." There are some pretty playful, amusing tunes on this one, including "Quality Shoe," "Devil Baby," "Old Pigweed," "Daddy's Gone to Knoxville," and the title track. I really liked all of those, plus the serious "Fare Thee Well Northumberland" and "Hill Farmer's Blues." 1670. Sandwich Platter - ApologetiX Judging by the opening and closing tracks on this project, you might think we were loafing around when we put it together, but there’s not a grain of truth to that. Actually, a lot of work went into “Broke a Loaf of Bread” and “A Day in the Loaf.” But it wasn’t till later that we noticed the similarity in titles. That’s when we decided to turn the CD into a sandwich. Putting “A Day in the Loaf” last was a no-brainer, considering its crescendo and famous final chord, but it also seemed sensible to put “Broke a Loaf of Bread” first. That way we’d open and close with piano, coming in like a lamb and going out like a lion. Noting the nature of some of the people portrayed in the songs therein (Peter, Paul, Mephibosheth, Eve, The Prodigal Son), we almost changed the title to “Antihero Sandwich,” but we stuck with “Sandwich Platter,” since all the songs spoofed were originally released on vinyl records (a.k.a.“platters”). It was our 55th LP and arrived on July 3, 2019, the day after my 55th birthday. In anticipation of that, we included a parody of “I Can’t Drive 55” by Sammy Hagar about one of my favorite chapters of the Bible, Isaiah 55. The other artists parodied on Sandwich Platter were Aerosmith, The Beatles, Faces, Fleetwood Mac, Foreigner, Jethro Tull, Elton John, Paul McCartney & Wings, Steve Miller, Roxette, and Styx. 1671. Maybe You Should Drive - Barenaked Ladies The second Barenaked Ladies LP didn't have as much mirth as the first, but the group's well-known wit was as evident as ever, and their performances were polished. Released on August 16, 1994, Maybe You Should Drive became BNL's first to crack the Billboard 200 (#175), while reaching #3 on the Canadian albums chart, two notches lower than its predecessor. The three singles selected were arguably the catchiest cuts: "Jane" (#3 Canada pop, #1 Canada adult contemporary), "Alternative Girlfriend" (#22 Canada pop, #4 Canada AC), "Life, in a Nutshell" (#29 Canada, #21 Canada AC). Additional amusing offerings included "Intermittently," "These Apples," "A," and "Tiny Little Song." The album ended on a serious note with a pair of poignant pieces, "The Wrong Man Was Convicted" and "The Great Provider," although both exhibit extremely clever wordplay. In fact, I'd argue there were at least six serious songs on Maybe You Should Drive, with the others being "Everything Old Is New Again," "You Will Be Waiting," "Am I The Only One?," and the aforementioned "Jane." The disc had a dozen tracks, so I suppose you could technically say that Barenaked Ladies were only half-joking on their sophomore effort. 1672. Carpenters Gold (Greatest Hits) - Carpenters This is the second Carpenters compilation on my list. The first was one of the earliest entries I wrote, The Singles 1969-73. But Richard and Karen continued having Top 40 hits through 1981. Released in 2000, Carpenters Gold (Greatest Hits) had most of them, including 11 of their Top 10 singles: "(They Long to Be Close) to You" (#1 pop, #1 adult contemporary), "Top of the World" (#1 pop, #2 AC), "Please Mr. Postman" (#1 pop, #1 AC), "We've Only Just Begun" (#2 pop, #1 AC), "Rainy Days and Mondays" (#2 pop, #1 AC), "Superstar" (#2 pop, #1 AC), "Yesterday Once More" (#2 pop, #1 AC), "For All We Know" (#3 pop, #1 AC), "Sing" (#3 pop, #1 AC), and "Only Yesterday" (#4 pop, #1 AC), and "Goodbye to Love" (#8 pop, #2 AC). The only one missing was a biggie, "Hurting Each Other (#2 pop, #1 AC). As you may have noticed, all but two of those topped the AC chart. The duo had a total of 15 #1 AC hits, and four others were on Carpenters Gold (Greatest Hits), including "I Won't Last a Day Without You" (#11 pop, #1 AC), "Solitaire" (#17 pop, #1 AC) "I Need to Be in Love" (#25 pop, #1 AC), and "Touch Me When We're Dancing" (#16 pop, #1 AC). For some reason, this album did not contain "There's Kind of Hush (All Over the World)" (#12 pop, #1 AC), either. However, it did have "It's Going to Take Some Time" (#12 pop, #2 AC) and "Calling Occupants Of Interplanetary Craft (The Recognized Anthem Of World Contact Day)" (#32 pop, #18 AC). The three other tracks were "Ticket To Ride" (#53 pop, #19 AC), "Jambalaya (On The Bayou)" (#12 U.K.), and "This Masquerade" (did not chart). In 2004, a 35th edition of Carpenters Gold expanded the track totals to 40, finally including "Hurting Each Other" and "There's a Kind of Hush," plus their remaining Top 40 hit, "All You Get From Love Is a Love Song" (#35 pop, #4 AC), and the perennial holiday favorite "Merry Christmas Darling." Speaking of which, for Christmas 2021, my wife got me Carpenters: The Musical Legacy, a 344-page, coffee-table-size book by Mike Cidoni Lennox and Chris May. While reading it, I learned that the group's official name was not "The Carpenters," but simply "Carpenters." Richard Carpenter, who provided a good bit of commentary in the book, is the definitive authority on the definite article (or lack thereof), and said he regretted not using the "the." Still, you won't find it on their albums and singles or in their famous logo. Prior to that, in November 2011, I had also purchased and read Little Girl Blue: The Life of Karen Carpenter by Randy L. Schmidt. In April 2014, ApologetiX played a private concert at the Four Seasons Hotel in Westlake Village CA where we went on stage right after Richard Carpenter. Yeah, the same guy I've been talking about. And if you think that's incredible, here's something that will really blow your mind: The event organizers actually planned it that way! We've never spoofed a Carpenters song, but we do work for a Jewish carpenter. 1673. Conspiracy No. 56 - ApologetiX In 2017, we released From Hair to Eternity, a rockin' CD with a photo of ApologetiX guitarist Wayne Bartley in action on the front cover. It looked great, but there was just one problem: Wayne only played on two of the tracks; his fellow ApX guitarist Tom Tincha played on nine of them! Tinch didn’t get offended at the oversight, even though he’d been in the band five years longer than Wayne and had never been on a CD cover. Ironically, Tinch had always been our resident conspiracy theorist, yet he never suggested foul play was afoot. Two years later, we saw a golden opportunity to rectify things. Considering the fact that this was our 56th LP, and it came out in late September 2019, right after Tinch's 56th birthday, the time seemed right. Third Day had released an album titled Conspiracy No. 5 in 1997, so we thought Conspiracy No. 56 would be a great title for our latest effort, especially since tracks 5 and 6, "Something From Nothing" and "Romans 1:20," were about something we consider to be a legitimate conspiracy. Track 7, "That's Unbelief," dealt with one of the most famous true conspiracies ever, but “Why do the nations conspire and the peoples plot in vain?” (Psalm 2:1). “There is no wisdom, no insight, no plan that can succeed against the LORD” (Prov. 21:30). Track 9, "Great Tongues of Fire," isn’t about conspirators, but it does deal with co-Spirit-ors, the Apostles on the day of Pentecost. Thanks to the Holy Spirit dwelling in them and us, we need not fear any conspiracy (Matthew 10:19–20, Luke 12:11–12). Nuff said. Artists we spoofed on this project included Bad Company, The Beach Boys, Jackson Browne, The Grass Roots, Jefferson Starship, Huey Lewis and the News, Jerry Lee Lewis, Loggins & Messina, Lee Michaels, Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers, Billy Preston, and Bob Seger & The Silver Bullet Band. In case you're wondering, Tinch played guitar on nine of the parodies on Conspiracy No. 56. Tom Milnes and John Marcinizyn shared duties on another, and the two remaining tracks had no guitars whatsoever. Wayne mixed and mastered all 12 songs but didn't play on the album aside from some adding some extra guitar parts on one track. 1674. Shangri-La - Mark Knopfler It's a shame Dire Straits broke up before the VH1 Storytellers TV series got started, because the group's lead singer/guitarist/songwriter, Mark Knopfler, is an unbelievable storyteller. But he doesn't need a stage; he can do it all in a song. Ironically, a month after VH1 Storytellers aired its first episode (February 1996), Knopfler released his first solo LP (March 1996). However, this particular entry is about his fourth. Released on September 28, 2004, Shangri-La really shows off the man's skills as a lyrical raconteur. One thing I found particularly impressive was the fact that it contains songs about famous people written in the first person ("Boom Like That," from the perspective of McDonald's mogul Ray Kroc), second person ("Back to Tupelo," sung to Elvis Presley in regard to his movie/show-biz career and the effect it had on his artistic integrity), and third person ("Song for Sonny Liston," detailing the life and death of the former heavyweight champion boxer). They're all masterpieces, with music to match. I first heard "Boom, Like That" (#2 U.S. adult alternative airplay, 34 U.K.) on Private Investigations: The Best of Dire Straits & Mark Knopfler, and I learned so much about the rise of Ray Kroc in a little less than six minutes. My wife and I saw the Kroc biopic The Founder starring Michael Keaton in January 2017, and the main reason I wanted to see it was because of "Boom, Like That." I bought and read the book Careless Love: The Unmaking of Elvis Presley by Peter Guralnick in 2022, which chronicles the second half of Presley's life. "Back to Tupelo" takes four and a half minutes to sum up what Guralnick says in 768 pages. Don't get me wrong; it's a good book. I'm just saying that Knopfler is marvelous at capturing and capsulizing the essence of his subjects and their stories, whether they be celebrities or unidentified people, real or imagined. A fourth tune on Shangri-La pertaining to a well-known person is "Donegan's Gone," about '50s and early '60s British skiffle singer/guitarist/banjoist Lonnie Donegan, who influenced many U.K. artists of the so-called British Invasion in the mid-'60s. He had a slew of smash singles there, but only two in the States — "Rock Island Line" (#8 in '55) and "Does Your Chewing Gum Lose Its Flavour (On the Bedpost Overnight)?" (#5 in '58). Donegan died in 2002, hence the title, but this lament is quite catchy, as were his hits. My other favorite on Shangri-La is "Postcards from Paraguay." Additional noteworthy songs include "Don't Crash the Ambulance," "The Trawlerman's Song," "Our Shangri-La," "Stand Up Guy," "All That Matters," and "Whoop De Doo," which my two youngest kids found quite amusing. As usual, though, every song — and there are 14 of them on this one — adds something to the album. Shangri-La reached #66 on the Billboard 200, #11 on the U.K. albums chart, and #1 in Norway. |
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If you'd like to donate to the ministry of ApologetiX, there are a couple ways you can do it. |
If you prefer to mail a check or money order, please make it out to "ApologetiX" and send it to:
ApologetiX
208 Charlemma Drive
Pittsburgh PA 15214-1414
Although the donations are not tax-deductible, they will be received very gratefully and used immediately. Thank you! |
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But after he had considered this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, “Joseph son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife, because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins.” Matthew 1:20-21 |
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P.O. Box 101705
Pittsburgh, PA 15237
USA
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